Martin Rodriguez

Family

I was raised to be on my own, to look out for myself. All my life my mother was never there for me this isn’t one those pitty stories where want people to feel bad for me. Truth is I now have family I always wanted but I’ve always been abandoned by dad and mom, then I met Alex and his family they became my second family my god father became like my dad when they left felt like was being abandoned and after ava my mind just scattered once I saw her being born my whole perspective on life turned around wasn’t about me anymore everything I do now is for her. Antone is someone I completely respect I hate asking for his help. Has nothing to do with pride that man has done so much for me I hate asking for his help because it’s not fair for him or right. I’m not his responsibility, don’t get me wrong I love him I love Rachael I love Zach and kim I don’t know where or what I’d be without any of them.
Family isn’t always determined by blood, family is those who care about you who want to help you succeed thankful for them everyday


Pain

It comes in many ways some hurt more then others weather it it be physical mental or emotional pain we all react and take it very differently. My way was not the the best let alone smartest. I took all the pain in my heart and hurt the one I love. From 11 months of her hurting me with all the crap that I took from my mother I just snapped at anyone I joined MMA so I can feel pain and inflict on others like it has been on me all my fights I thought about my mom, my step dad, teachers who said I wouldnt graduate to the kids who mocked me and taunted me for being a deslecsic mexican that didn’t have any social skills or knowledge of the real world. I cheated on the woman of my dreams the mother of my beautiful child for what? Payback? No truth is I have no real reason why I cheated. Once everyone knew I was gunna be a dad everyone’s views on me got worse everyone told me to stay away from her and my daughter they told me I was gunna be horrible father that I should kill my self for ruining Rachael’s life. I’ve hurt myself a lot in the past from cutting to burning my mother controlled my whole life and I wanted to end it so many times but I didn’t for my siblings. My mother is satan I thought she would’ve been there for me thought she would’ve cared about me………but no we don’t get to control who our parents are but we do control who we decide to be. I wanted to be the exact opposite of my mom I quit drinking forever alcohol has done nothing but brought complete shit to my family. She likes to hit my siblings because she knows they’re afraid of her and the youngest one can’t fight back but I had enough couldn’t take it anymore and as I stood up my brother stood beside me. I kinda lost track of all this but my point is don’t let pain be the source of you don’t let it control you and most of all don’t let it hurt those you love the most.


Life vs death

If a day were to come where something was to happen to me……. I’d want Rachael to tell Ava everything about me good and bad. In life we make our own destiny and gets past on through how we reflect on our children and everyone around us… I came from nothing no dad no sense of direction no principles and half the time no mother. If I were to die I’d hope that Ava thinks bout me as I care and lover her. My dad died before he could meet Ava or Rachael I promised him I would be like my parents and that I don’t lose her like he lost me I think about you every dad love and miss you wish things were different on 2/7/14 Ava Grace Rodriguez-Stanek was born I remember everything about it and Ava if you ever think you hate your mother don’t think it she changed my life will always cherish her and love her with all my heart she loves you so much the way she looks at you when she held you no words to describe it